Developing Social Literacy

Written by Clare Caro

Learning Social Literacy

We are not born with social skills, they develop. Learning social skills is an important part of childhood.

Learning to read people, get along with others, what is (and what is not) socially acceptable behaviour in different contexts, and adapt our behaviour is a skill called Social Literacy.

Social Literacy develops with time to learn with others, while the brain and emotional system are in development.

Tools and time
The first social skills we learn as children are from the big people in our lives, through our experiences of how they relate to us and others around them. It is part of our 'survival-learning package' that says we adopt these social patterns to 'speak the same language' as those around us.

These adopted patterns need time and space to practice with others in order to master. Through play and working together, we grow communication skills and social skills, both essential aspects of socialisation. 

It is through learning with others that we widen our learning, for example, learning that what is 'normal' in one family might not be the same in another family or appropriate in public groups.

We have isolated three tools to help learners with social literacy:  1/ We choose a relationship dynamic for working together; we have chosen the partnership model where we work 'in agreement'.  2/ Understand behaviour and how there are two areas of the brain that affect behaviour.  3/ We learn a vocabulary of safe language, use gentle feedback and raise problems to achieve agreement and cooperation.

Working In Agreement
An agreement ensures that everyone has a voice in making the decisions that govern us and works toward a shared vision of safety. The agreement helps us to understand what is expected of ourselves and others in the group.

The In-Agreement model differs from the traditional Top-Down model, where we are told what to do without an opportunity to agree. Working 'in agreement' is key to resolving conflict, learning to work with others and developing healthy leadership skills.

Anatomy of Behaviour
There are two important areas of the brain that affect behaviour; they are the amygdala and pre-frontal cortex.

Amygdala
The amygdala is responsible for emotions, moods and is our "emotional alarm system". Our 'alarm system' can get activated not only when there is something dangerous or harmful, but also when we perceive or feel something as being dangerous or harmful. It is the feeling of unsafety that can send us into survival mode, our amygdala becomes active, and changes happen in our body and in our behaviour.

In the body; our breathing quickens, digestion slows or stops, our heart rate increases, eyes dilate and stress hormones increase so that we are physically ready to fight, take flight or freeze. 
In behaviour; we can become defensive, attacking and forceful, which can be dangerous and harmful to others (fight), we run or cling to safety (flight), or simply be nonresponsive and shut down (freeze).

Pre-frontal Cortex
The pre-frontal cortex is responsible for integrating all parts of the brain to work together, affecting our body and social world. When the pre-frontal cortex stops perceiving threats where there are none, we can observe with logic instead of fear.

In the body; we can regulate our impulsive reactions, recognise when we are becoming over-stressed, why, and know what to do about it. 
In behaviour; we can function in times of stress, assess situations rationally, are open to new information, and hold two opposing views in mind at the same time.

Developing a stable amygdala and pre-frontal cortex connections are important when learning and developing social literacy.

Safe Language
Safe language is a way of communicating with another person whose "emotional alarm system" has gone off, or someone who is in the habit of communicating with amygdala-led behaviour.

This language speaks in a way that invites cooperation, partnership, and maintains a safe environment. When humans feel safe, there is no need to be on alert, no need to protect ourselves with fighting, fleeing or nonresponsive behaviour.

How to Safely Respond
Gentle feedback is how we respond, rather than our own 'emotional alarm system' going off. With the emotional alarm system turned off, it is possible to hear new information, ideas and different points of view, empathise, work towards a shared view for a team "win-win" outcome, self-regulate and more.

How to Raise a Problem
Safe language helps us raise problems face-to-face, in a way that is easy for the person we are talking to to hear us - and that is easy for us to communicate our needs, opinions and agreed boundaries. We can develop that ability to hear the needs of others and use descriptive language, along with learning how to own a problem and seek solutions that work for everyone involved.

Being Response-able
The goal is to be able to respond instead of reacting. Being responsible for our own behaviour grows our ability to express ourselves and relate to others from all walks of life, in a way that feels safe for everyone.

Once children have developed social literacy skills, they are then able to resolve most conflicts quickly with minimal input from adults and any disruptive, unwanted and bullying behaviours are prevented from developing or escalating. This leaves more time for learning, playing and enjoying time together.

If a child can do advanced math, speak three languages, or receive top grades, but can't manage their emotions, practice conflict resolution, or handle stress, none of that other stuff is really going to matter." 
- Mohamad Safa

We bring people together, build and connect communities. We embrace diversity and equality by recognising that every person is unique and offer inclusive environments that cross divisions of age, culture, gender, ability and class.  We do this practicing respectful group dynamics and relationship skills.  #socialliteracy